So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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