He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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