you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
