Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
