I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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