those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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