my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
