Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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