pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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