So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
