I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
