90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
