I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
