I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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