i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
