Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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