I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
