I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize