I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize