We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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