yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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