I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize