I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
