I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
