he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
