I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
