I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
