If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
