coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
