you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
