Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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