I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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