That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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