I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You did what with his pubic hair?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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