I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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