Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
