so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
