I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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