ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
