You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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