U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
