You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
