I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize