Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
