So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize