the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
