i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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