It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
