what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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