oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
