I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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