it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
