That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
