I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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