went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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