the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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