Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
