is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
