I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
3pm strippers are depressing
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
