Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize