no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
