she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
