So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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